iedere dag ik hustling...*

That post title is just a taste of what all my American friends have to look forward too when I get home because I will surely be Dutch translating/remixing every fucking song I know (you're welcome!).

Anyweg, I just had quite a fabulous weekend! Friday night, we all went out in Haarlem rather than making our usual trip to Amsterdam. I was definitely in more of a bar mood and despite feelings of irritation from the day/week, I ended up having fun as usual. We ran into the normal group of characters: model-types, magicians, guys in pants tighter than mine, dentists, guys with these which I stuck my fingers through, naturally. Saturday I babysat my two cute little babies, Niek and Pim before going to my first kickboxing match! My boy Remco from the gym kickboxes semi-professionally and after seeing the matches, I have a better understanding of what I had deemed as nonsense during the class he teaches. I haven't had that much fun in TOO LONG. It was really leuk to be off doing something different and watching men try and tear each other's heads off. There was a 25 Euro entrance fee which we managed to bypass since we didn't get there until intermission. I had my handy bottle of wine in a Pepsi bottle in my purse and was good to go. The first match was painful to watch since it was the dik sak (fat boy) weight class and blubber was a jigglin. Contenders were kicking and punching the Dutch out of each other and 2 fights were even ended early (one TKO and another guy's trainer threw in the towel). Remco did well. He had a worthy adversary who was very good at making it look like he was doing big things to the audience when in fact, most of his blows were being blocked. Anyway, the match ended in a tie. I toyed with the idea of really getting into kickboxing but after seeing his legs, ummmmm no thank you. I think it'd be fun to punch and kick the shit out of some broad (I've never been a big fan of girls as it is) so maybe it's worth it?!

Anyway, the best part of my weekend was talking to my sister. She is honest to God, my numero uno and if she wasn't my sister I'd go lezbo for her- that's how much I love her. She is the funniest person ever and I never have to deal with any bullshit from her. I'm so unbelievably ecstatic for her to get here. I've been having a good time with everyone here but NO ONE compares to her and just talking to her on the phone today made my life. We're really similiar, yet really different. She has so many qualities that have become increasingly difficult to find in other people. She's blunt, honest, GENUINE, caring, humble, hysterical and best of all, her own person. No matter where she is, she will always be herself (this hasn't always been well-received but at least she's not a poser. I can't stand people who front for others and try way too hard to be someone they're not just to impress people). I'll stop dick-riding her right now but trust me, she's the shit.




As usual, I went off on a tangent. So we're on the phone chatting about her impending visit (HOORAY!!). We're talking about how much she misses me and I her, and comparing our rather shitty weeks. I wish I could talk to her more often because she kept me on the phone laughing hysterically until my stomach hurt. She's been a little stressed out not having me around, going to school, working, relationship bullshit, and being an adult and paying the whole bills thing so she decided some retail therapy was in order during Black Friday. She was on the phone in line at Macy's and apparently didn't hear the cashier call out for the next person. The woman behind her decided to rudely tap her shoulder and mouth off at her, telling her that maybe she should get off her phone. This woman made 3 crucial mistakes that would have saved her from getting punched in the face: 1) Don't interrupt someone's phone conversation, it's rude 2)Don't touch people you don't know and 3)Don't mess with people during Black Friday, that shit will get you punched in the face!! While the cashier dials security, my sister drops everything and makes a run for it. I have a sense she won't be visiting Macy's anytime soon.

I think we may end up doing Spain for when she gets out here and I'm going to see if I can work something out with the family to get the entire week she's here off. I'm thinking maybe we can spend a long weekend in Spain then come back and party in Amsterdam for a few. She comes January 28th-February 4th so if you know of anything cool happening anywhere in Europe, feel free to let me know!

happy holidays, indeed!

Okay so in just FOUR WEEKS, I will have 2 weeks sans crying babies, poo-filled diapers, and 7:30 AM wake-up calls!!!!!!! Words cannot describe my excitement! Initially, I thought I'd be having quite a lonely holiday season since everyone I know here will be on vacation or going back to the states. Going home crossed my mind as well but I really have no desire to pass up on 2 weeks of quality travel time. My friend who was to visit from the US can't make it so I thought I'd have to travel alone maar, that is not the case! After contemplating going to Rome, Egypt, Prague, I managed to not only sucker my Dutch friend into traveling with me to PARIS, but he agreed to drive there (it's about 5 hours away)!!! Not only will I not have to deal with the damn train Nazis and see the countryside, but I can pass the time listening to music, napping comfortably and saving the 200+ euro it probably would've cost me for train tickets. I will probably spend said euro on getting Lisa a boyfriend. I also looked into some hostels and for the +/- 7 days that we stay, I won't have to spend more than 125 euro!!!

In addition, my pair-daddy Thomas, offered to give me 150 euro to go towards my travel! Since Paris isn't going to cost me much I'm toying with the idea of spending the 21st-24th in Barcelona, Spain. I looked up ticket and hostels and found a deal that would only cost me about 180 euro! I have not yet been able to sucker anyone into going with me but I think I'd be okay with traveling on my own. The hostel I looked at offers cool day trips and I'm social enough to make new friends along the way. When we stayed in our hostel in Belgium, we met an 18/19 year old Australian girl traveling by herself. If she can do it at that young age, I can do it as well. I really hope I don't get roofied/raped/mugged/killed or some combination of the 4.. that would really put a damper on things. I'm not certain if Barcelona will happen for sure because I may go with my sister when she gets here but it's cool to have options.

In other news, the kids are doing great. This past weekend was very relaxing.. I babysat on Friday night then did nothing Saturday night, but had my first scooter experience. It totally reminded me of Lloyd and Harry from Dumb & Dumber minus the peeing. Here are some pictures from last weekend, when we tried out that new place, Bitter Zoet as well as pictures of my little babies:










I don't even know this man! Please explain why he's hugging me so?!

I met Sinterklaas yesterday and he's a lot thinner than Santa. It also snowed yesterday and this morning (thankfully it didn't stick) which reminded me of good ol' Connecticut. Now the sun's ablazing and I'm contemplating going for a run but given Mother Nature's erratic moods and the fact that my break times are always compromised, it probably won't happen.

UPDATE: Mother Nature wasn't her usual cunty self and it's actually still gorgeous out. I need to stop having a conscience and stop putting others first because it's obviously not working in my favor. I was gonna go for a run on my break from 12:30-2:30 but around 12:50, Eline tells me Pim had a doctor's appointment and even though she offered to take Niek with her, I could tell it'd be a hassle and the poor thing was exhausted from Little Gyming it this morning. She came back around 1:50 but that would've only left me 40 minutes and I didn't want to have to rush. She said it'd be fine if I went around 3 after she picked up the kids which was fine by me. ButTijn and Lara both bring home a friend to play with and of course they wake up Pim and Niek when they get home. Pim and Niek are crying as I head for the door and I find myself feeling bad. So bad that I offer to take Niek for a walk to calm him down. He must've still been tired because he didn't wanna walk on his own and insisted I carry him. He didn't want to be in the house (not that I can blame him) so we got lost together in Heemstede. I figured I could go after our walk but Eline offered to drop off the kids that aren't hers so no running for me. It's so frustrating.

Dec. 20th needs to hurry up and get here. Au revoir!

..in the arms of the angels

...may you find some comfort here...

Depending on the circumstance, I don't always find death to be sad. Death can sometimes be a celebration and represent the passing of one's life on earth to their eternally happy afterlife in heaven. This thought is comforting, especially if the deceased suffered great physical pain on earth, or lived to an old age. But what words of comfort can you extend to a family when their only child commits suicide? How do you stop feelings of guilt, anger, and sadness?

In situations like these, I know it's unfair to let oneself be battered by pangs of guilt but I know everyone is wondering if there was anything more they could've done- especially the parents. After losing as many people in my life as I have, I make it a point to tell those I care about that I love them. But when things like this happen, I'm left to wonder if that is enough. The realist in me let's me know that there probably wasn't much anyone could have done. When someone sinks into the lowest levels of depression and despair, it's often something that only they can get themselves out of. Unfortunately, my dear friend thought her only way out was to end her life.

I've never been very good at exhibiting emotion as a young adult. I am uncomfortable with the tears of others as well as my own. I don't always know what to say and I'm terrible at letting people in. I will say being surrounded by four of the cutest and sweetest kids ever has really helped my psyche in wrestling with this tremendous loss. Looking into their innocent little faces and wrapping my arms around their warm little bodies (along with unhealthy amounts of coloring) has helped me cope with all the thoughts swimming in my head. Niek is sitting on my lap as I compose this entry, drooling on my arm and giggling whenever I make gurgling sounds into his neck. Even though I'm really sad, I can't help but smile whenever I look at him or any of the other three.. even when Pim unleashes grueling rounds of fart ammunition into my arms while I'm holding him.. or when Tijn licks my face (these are his version of lion kisses, so cute!) or when Lara butchers the Enlish language when she tries to sing little songs I'm teaching her. It really helps to have them distracting me and keeping me positive and doing it without even knowing it.

...but apparently I may not be staying here as long as I thought since I just received a letter from the IND (immigration) denying my Visa... ummmmm yeaaaaa. I'll keep you all posted on that one.

Final Thought: love yourselves and each other (don't front like you didn't watch Jerry Springer!).

drivin like you ain't got no insurance

I don't have anything important to write about but I've been neglecting my napping needs by watching stuff on Youtube and I came across this little diddy:

My sisters and I were/are avid ans of this show and it's in my Top 3 list of best comedies everrrrrr (along with Fresh Prince and the Cosby show). I've been watching several clips and am almost regretting the ab work-out I put in at the gym cuz my stomach is killing me! I wish there were more shows like this on the air instead of the overrated crap that tends to be popular(I will never understand the popularity of the Bill Engvall show). Martin should've won an Emmy for her role. Here's another compilation of the fabulousness that is Sheneneh: "Damn Cole! I mean we cool and all, but what you tryna buy- a Hyundai?"

America, FUCK YEA!

Of course I'm delighted with Obama's victory but if ONE more person asks me how I feel about it, I think I may flip my lid. It was bad enough before the election but now it seems to be the only subject people can think to talk to me about, that is when they're not spewing their hatred for Americans, but I'll get back to that in a bit...

The kids are doing excellent and this was a very good week. Pim is fast as lightening and he's started pulling himself up onto his knees now! This morning when I went to get him out of bed, he was leaning over the edge with the BIGGEST smile that made me forget how tired and hungover I was. I'm in love with that little boy. Tijn got a haircut and now it's easier for me to see his adorable little face! Lara's been really good and helpful and not as temperamental. Of course, she still cries like clockwork every Thursday evening at dinner about her swimming lessons on Friday but we're used to it and it wouldn't be Thursday dinner without it. Niek is phenomenal. I just got back from a walk with him and he's such a little adult.. He walks right into the bakery and gets in line with his hands folded behind his back, inspecting the goods. I almost expected him to pull out a wallet full of euro and buy the cheese croissant he was obsessed with.











I'd heard before that Americans weren't really all that popular in Europe and this week, Jaime and I experienced it firsthand. People have such a negative view of us, which sucks for them cuz we're utterly fabulous, but I digress. Our Dutch course takes place in the evenings from 7:30-10. We don't always have time to eat so we always bring snacks to combat our hunger. At Monday's class, Thea asked Jaime to stop eating, which was annoying but to make matters worse, some Serbian chick Mebitcha chimes in with a comment about it being loud and that she's hungry too. Well duhhhh, do something about it cunt, we're hungry too, hence the snacks. If she didn't think to bring any, WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? So at Wednesdays class, Thea asks us not to eat that night. I was stuffed but I had cookies in my bag that I wanted to eat out of spite and Jaime was fiending for her apple. So then Mebitcha's birdbrain friend feels the need to make a comment about how eating is "rude in Europe". I can see why Thea would find it distracting because we do sit in the front blah blah blah, but it's not like we're bringing in Sudanese take-out. The undertone of her comment was very hostile and petty and it felt like she'd been waiting to say something like that for a while. Earlier this year in class, another Argentinian girl, Annaliya, jumped down Jaime's throat after she made a joke about American bankers. She basically told us that we don't care about anything that doesn't involve our country and don't care about anyone else. I can understand why she feels that way, given the way we're portrayed in the media and with a bobble-head president like good ol' G. Dubbayah but I don't appreciate false generalizations/assumptions about my personal character; in the infamous words of T.I., YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

Last night Mayra, Jaime, and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner. We dined at a hip Mexican eatery, stuffing our faces with burritos, nachos, and RIBS and downing glasses of wine. Whenever we go to places, the employees always look so young (at the night club we went to in Rotterdamn, the door security guard was 17!!). Our waiter was cute and we jokingly assumed he was about 16. Turns out we weren't far off since he was 17! Stat was really nice and even gave us free margaritas and invited us to the pub next door after we ate, with his friend Uni-brow. There we enjoyed more free wine as well as unnecessary shots of tequila. We also encountered more people who were only interested in discussing politics and being anti-American. I will spare you much of the details but Uni even went as far as to tell Jaime that we deserved 9/11 then had the audacity to say he wanted to do an internship in Miami. He needs to not bring his fuckery to the US but he was aesthetically amusing and I will say that I haven't laughed as much as I did last night in too long!

I'm exhausted right now but am really excited that it's the weekend. I really want to get some rest but I have a strange feeling that won't happen, given the company i keep ;-p

Happy Anniversary!

So I celebrated my two month anniversary being in the Netherlands this weekend and had a blast doing so. I almost typed that it was the best time I'd had so far but I honestly cannot recall a weekend that I didn't love my entire stay here.

I was put off by the events of Friday morning but given that it was Halloween, I remained in high spirits throughout the day, even though I didn't have a break. We went into Amsterdam earlier than usual where we ate, changed and started drinking. Jaime and I were the cutest Indians this side of the pond and we owe many thanks to Jaime's rugrats for providing us with the costumes ;-p





[Excuse the pictures taken inside Lizzy's apartment.. I was already 1/2 in the bag]

The rest of my weekend was comparatively low-key, since all I did was have dinner at a delicious Thai restaurant and enjoy a lazy Sunday.

There's so much on my to-do list: I still have not written all or put postcards in the mail. I need to call my parents and figure out what my life will be for the holidays. Given the new relationships I've formed here, I'm sure I can find people to keep me company and at this point, I am not as apprehensive anymore about traveling alone. I still don't know what our trip will be for November, as we've flirted with the ideas of going to Milan and Germany and I may be joining Jaime's family for a trip to London. I can't believe I've already been here for 2 months.. it's definitely starting to feel like home.