God has invited me to a party at his house...
Those are lyrics from my grandmother's favorite song. She passed away last week at the ripe age of 98 and I can remember her singing this song all the time. I went home this past weekend for the funeral and it was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. My father seemed to be taking it all in stride but that all changed at the funeral home, when I think it actually hit him that this was all actually happening. While I viewed the weekend as a celebration of her long and happy life, watching my Dad completely break down was extremely difficult and his tears were contagious. Her sister didn't make things any easier, because they were best friends who spoke daily. It reminded me of the relationship I have with Damaly and I know it's selfish, but I hope I'm the first to go out of my immediate family. I cannot even bear to think of my life without the people I love so it's either I go first, we all die together, or we somehow become immortal.
Nonetheless, the good memories I have of my grandmother mostly overpowered my feelings of sadness. I'm named after her and I feel she always liked me best. Don't get me wrong, she used to get me in a lot of trouble when I tried to keep things from my parents. But I will never forget tickling her or pulling down her skirt until she'd laugh so hard, I thought her dentures would fall out. I remember the way she smelled and the way she used to braid her hair. I will always have the scar on my leg from when she accidentally burned me with an iron. I remember giving her manicures and seeing her undergarments drying in the bathroom. I remember how she'd always shout into the phone when I called to speak to her even though speaking normally would've been alright. I remember her huge glasses that always reflected so much light and how sweet she was to me. I remember how when I went home from the holidays, I was crying so hard as my Dad fed her. She looked so thin and different from what I remembered and something told me the next time I'd see her, it would be to say goodbye. She may no longer be with us, but hopefully I inherited all of her good traits and the "living long" gene is an Auguste/Wagnac trait.
At times like these, it's very difficult to remain optimistic about living in the Netherlands. I know my parents would love to have me home. All their friends were telling me how much they missed me and doing their best to persuade me to come home, since my parents are too stubborn and believe strongly in our personal freedom, even if they don't approve. I really miss seeing them all the time. We stayed up on Sunday night, playing board games and talking and I haven't bonded and laughed with them the way we did in too long. My father makes the funniest comments and my mother cheats so much. I love them with all my heart and it is my every intention to be back on American soil as soon as possible. Even though I have no intention or desire to move back to Connecticut.
I'm so happy the month of January is almost over. As if my grandmother's death wasn't enough, my grandfather had a stroke and is in the hospital. He has a weak heart that beats irregularly so chances are he'll have to be moved into a nursing home where they can monitor him a lot more than we'd be able to. I hope he's able to recover fully and that the madication he's on works so we can rule out a nursing home and/or a pacemaker.
I'll be 25 next Thursday and I'm ok with it. I have a lot to be thankful for at this stage in life and I'm confident that things will only get better. We'll spend next weekend in Stockholm and it'll be fantastic to have some quality time with my Michelino, even though we'll be frozen popsicles. I'm really looking forward to it.
I'll leave you all with another excerpt from Don't Sweat The Small Stuff: Write a heartfelt letter every week
With everything going on recently, I realized that I haven't always taken the time to express my feelings to the people I'm grateful for and love. This is definitiely something I want to do because I think it's important to thank people for helping me get to where I am, for being there for me, for making me smile and even for loving me. First up, my favorite piece of mozzarella: Piero Pichelino.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Happy New Year!! 10 days late....
So I'm back in the land of Nether and 2011 is treating me fantastically well thus far. It was stupendous to be reunited with Mic and Margo and Lizzy and the Van Weels since I missed them all terribly. After being surrounded by the massive cats at D's, Margo seemed tinier to me but it's clear to me now that she's actually grown a lot, which almost pains me because I want her to stay my beautiful kitten forever.
This is shaping up to be an exciting month for me: It's Lizzy's birthday this weekend and our good friend Mayra is coming to visit with her husband Angel! It'll be great to have this reunion with all of us and our other friends, all dressed up and possibly drunk like old times! Getting dolled up with my friends is my favorite part and thanks to a shopping spree from my honey yesterday, I'll enjoy it even more #spoiled. Then on the 19th, Lizzy and I will go see Drizzy Drake in concert, with a guest appearance from J. Cole. We've had loads of fun at the other concerts we've gone to so we're both really pumped!
A couple weeks after that, I turn the DREADED 25. But it's all good because I'll be bringing in my birthday in Stockholm, Sweden! Mic and I have never been but we'll brave the cold and keep warm, preserving our sexy nonetheless. I've never been to that part of the world so I'm super mega turbo excited!
In other news, 2011 will be a continuation of the evolution of Darline through thought and reflection. I was given the book "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" as a gift and even after wafting through the first few pages, I'm already certain that it will become a staple in my development. I'm finding it so useful to me, I've decided to post excerpts from it on here as well because I think we can all benefit from it. The one below has stood stood out the most because it has to do with modesty and draws my attention to faults in my character:
Lesson #6- Let others have the glory.. "The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It's the part of us that interrupts someone else's story or impatiently waits her turn to speak so she can bring the conversation and attention back to herself... The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response."
I've always considered myself an active listener but I must admit that I am sometimes guilty of this. I always thought it stemmed from the desire to be able to identify with whoever's talking and let them know I can understand what they're going through, but perhaps it is my damn ego! I'm not much of an attention seeker in terms of my personality or demeanor (being inebriated doesn't count!) and when it's someone's day or moment I'm most comfortable falling back and giving them their shine; in fact I promote it and have even derailed efforts by others who don't understand this concept. Nonetheless, I'm going to make a more conscious effort to let others have their moment, especially in conversation because perhaps in trying to identify with someone, I'm actually hogging their moments and taking the attention away from them. There are so many people I know/used to know that should take heed to this lesson!
That's all for now my darlings.. I'm going to enjoy my last 24 days of being 24
EW.
This is shaping up to be an exciting month for me: It's Lizzy's birthday this weekend and our good friend Mayra is coming to visit with her husband Angel! It'll be great to have this reunion with all of us and our other friends, all dressed up and possibly drunk like old times! Getting dolled up with my friends is my favorite part and thanks to a shopping spree from my honey yesterday, I'll enjoy it even more #spoiled. Then on the 19th, Lizzy and I will go see Drizzy Drake in concert, with a guest appearance from J. Cole. We've had loads of fun at the other concerts we've gone to so we're both really pumped!
A couple weeks after that, I turn the DREADED 25. But it's all good because I'll be bringing in my birthday in Stockholm, Sweden! Mic and I have never been but we'll brave the cold and keep warm, preserving our sexy nonetheless. I've never been to that part of the world so I'm super mega turbo excited!
In other news, 2011 will be a continuation of the evolution of Darline through thought and reflection. I was given the book "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" as a gift and even after wafting through the first few pages, I'm already certain that it will become a staple in my development. I'm finding it so useful to me, I've decided to post excerpts from it on here as well because I think we can all benefit from it. The one below has stood stood out the most because it has to do with modesty and draws my attention to faults in my character:
Lesson #6- Let others have the glory.. "The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It's the part of us that interrupts someone else's story or impatiently waits her turn to speak so she can bring the conversation and attention back to herself... The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response."
I've always considered myself an active listener but I must admit that I am sometimes guilty of this. I always thought it stemmed from the desire to be able to identify with whoever's talking and let them know I can understand what they're going through, but perhaps it is my damn ego! I'm not much of an attention seeker in terms of my personality or demeanor (being inebriated doesn't count!) and when it's someone's day or moment I'm most comfortable falling back and giving them their shine; in fact I promote it and have even derailed efforts by others who don't understand this concept. Nonetheless, I'm going to make a more conscious effort to let others have their moment, especially in conversation because perhaps in trying to identify with someone, I'm actually hogging their moments and taking the attention away from them. There are so many people I know/used to know that should take heed to this lesson!
That's all for now my darlings.. I'm going to enjoy my last 24 days of being 24
EW.
