a current of thoughts

I feel like there's a lot on my mind but I have no idea how to put it all into words. I feel like I have so much to do and that I need to get my shit together! The prospect of returning to school looms over my head like a heavy black cloud.. A part of me wants to go but another part of me wants to buy a oneway ticket to anywhere but here and begin life on my own. Regardless of what happens this year, next summer I MUST go on a continental tour. I'd love to visit Spain and meet some blokes in England. I'd love to embrace my French culture in Paris, visit the pyramids in Egypt, and risk getting bitten by something poisonous in Australia. I'd love to go back to China and see all the new Japanese innovations. I want to try authentic Thai food and buy an Italian leather jacket. I feel like a crack feign who has an insatiable urge to get out of the U.S. Don't get me wrong, I love it here but I feel like there's so much I need to see. It'd be so awesome to have the funds to travel the entire world. Why the hell can't people like me win the lottery?!?!?!?! I need to live a healthier life. I could stand to lose a few pounds and tighten up my body since afterall, it is a wonderland. I'm not exactly gonna buy into eating all that organic shit but I'd love to give giving up a soda a more serious effort. I need to get out of the house more often and when I do I need to frequent other places besides the bars.